Editing Blood Feud: Up on the Roof

blood_feud_largeContinuing my tale—started in yesterday’s post—of the importance in having your writing edited, we pick up with what I consider to be the most important scene in my novel Blood Feud: The Saga of Pandora Zwieback, Book 1…a scene that didn’t exist in the first-draft manuscript.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

That was one of Grandma Ellie’s favorite sayings, usually uttered as encouragement in response to some major event experienced by a family member or close friend. The last time Pan had heard it was after Mom and Dad’s divorce had been finalized. Mom had spent a day crying her eyes out, and Grandma had said it to try and cheer her up. Until this morning Pan had never really understood the phrase, but around four a.m., as she lay in bed unable to sleep, its meaning suddenly became crystal clear.

A fresh start. A new beginning.

Annie had given her that, and so much more. Opened her eyes to a bright, magical world ready to be explored. Put an end to the constant fears about her sanity. Made her understand how special she truly was.

And so, just a little before five o’clock, Pan had gone up to the roof of Dad’s apartment building to welcome the new day—and her new life…

When I wrote the initial draft of Blood Feud, there was no sunrise greeting; no inner reflection; no moment when Pan realized she was more than her “monstervision”—her ability to see the monsters inhabiting the world that had been diagnosed as a psychological disorder when she was six. No real hope for her future.

As I mentioned in the previous post my editor, Howard Zimmerman, had pointed out how dark and angry the tone of the first draft was—a tone he was pretty sure I hadn’t meant to put into it. Pan, according to my descriptions to him, was supposed to be a “happy Goth” who feared her supposed mental problems but overall tried to live a pretty good life despite the obstacles in her way. And that girl, it turned out, was nowhere in the manuscript. Sure, there were flashes of happy Pan here and there, but she mostly spent Blood Feud being bitter and far too snarky—snarky to the point where even I, after rereading the pages, wanted to slap her. That needed to change, and quick. I needed to find a balance between angst-ridden Goth and loving young woman, or this character was going to be a major turn-off to every reader. And she was the star of the book!

And then, while making notes based on his edits, a song on the radio suddenly caught my attention: James Taylor’s cover of the Drifters’ 1962 hit “Up On the Roof,” and its lyrics by Carole King:

When this old world starts getting me down
And people are just too much for me to face
I climb way up to the top of the stairs
And all my cares just drift right into space
On the roof, it’s peaceful as can be
And there the world below can’t bother me…

As you may have figured out by now—if you’re a regular reader of this blog—my musical tastes tend to run all over the place (“eclectic” doesn’t begin to cover it). In prior posts I’ve written about how Murray Gold’s “This Is Gallifrey” composition from the Series 3 Doctor Who sound track influenced how I wrote the confrontation between Pan and the fallen angel Zaqiel at the end of Blood Feud; and how HorrorPops’ rockabilly girl-power tune “Missfit” became Pan’s anthem (“My fist! In the middle of your face!”). Well, here it was “Up On the Roof” that helped me to finally, truly understand who Pandora Zwieback was, and exactly how to find her center—and the heart of the story I was trying to tell.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Those words just popped into my head, and immediately I could see Pan sitting on a rooftop, watching the sun come up as she drank coffee in a Frankenstein mug. A quiet moment, a pause for breath between dramatic scenes—a time when Pan could process everything that had been revealed to her by Annie in a previous chapter and realize she wasn’t a freak, wasn’t alone, wasn’t destined to live a miserable life. The moment when she stopped being a damaged soul, a misfit, and became a stronger young woman. There was a new world before her, waiting to be explored, and she couldn’t wait to take the first step toward it.

And I couldn’t wait to write it.

As clichéd as it sounds, the words flowed from me into the keyboard. It turned out to be the easiest chapter to write—and the shortest (4 pages)—and for me it became the scene around which the entire book revolves. It also completely eliminated the dickish qualities Dave Zwieback had exhibited in the first draft; now he was the loving, supportive father he was always meant to be. A win-win situation all around, then.

Tomorrow: how it all turned out.

“So, now…” Dad reached back and pulled [Pan’s] sketch from his pocket, then unfolded the paper and held it up to the lightening sky. The warm colors she’d chosen for the drawing shone even brighter. “This, I like a lot. It’s so different from your usual dark stuff. Very colorful. Very . . .” He smiled. “Dare I say, lighthearted?”

Pan grinned.

“It’s a new style,” she said. “For a new me.”

The Importance of Being Edited

You don’t need an editor! You don’t need anyone!
The Worst Muse

I didn’t think we needed that “intrusion” on a creator’s work, and the reason for this was how many horror stories have we all heard from somebody that’s working for DC, or whoever… I didn’t want an editor saying, “Jeez, Dave McKean, I really hate that scene on page 24 of Cages #3, where you have this character saying, “Blah, blah, blah … You’ve really got to change that, or I’m not going to let it go through.” That’s what I perceive as an editor. And I don’t agree with that.
Kevin Eastman, “The Kevin Eastman Interview, Part 2” by Gary Groth, The Comics Journal #202 (originally published March 1998)

The first quote, in case you’re unaware, is a joke. The Worst Muse is a Twitter account dedicated to being the voice in every bad writer’s head, providing the most god-awful tropes and notions that could ever pop into his or her head—and have, more often than not, been carried all the way through to the finished project.

The second quote, unfortunately, is not.

These days, most comic and pop-culture fans know Kevin Eastman solely as co-creator (with Peter Laird) of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the prime example of the little small-press comic that could (and still does!). But in 1990, Eastman—who’d struck gold in the ’80s with TMNT—decided to use a good portion of his Scrooge McDuck–sized fortune to bankroll a new venture: Tundra Publishing. It was intended to be the home of high-end comic projects that mainstream houses like Marvel and DC wouldn’t have even thought of considering, and for a while it succeeded: Alan Moore and Eddie Campbell’s massive (and massively acclaimed) Jack the Ripper graphic novel, From Hell, got its start there, as did projects like Scott McCloud’s nonfiction analysis Understanding Comics and Mike Allred’s frenetic superhero spoof Madman Adventures.

Tundra closed in 1993.

A lot of it had to do with poor management: accepting too many projects; royalty splits of 80% for the creator and 20% for Tundra (after costs); creators getting paid but not delivering their work; Eastman’s refusal to listen to advice on how to run the business—even when it came from Doubleday’s Ian Ballantine, one of the demi-gods of publishing; paying an artist $20,000 for his work, then finding out he tore the pages to shreds in a fit of anger. By the end of its run, Tundra had become a $14 million money pit, and Eastman had to shut its doors.

But Tundra also suffered from a lack of editorial control—Tundra hired production people as traffic managers (called “straw bosses”), to make sure that projects got from point A to point B, but they were to remain hands-off when it came to the actual content of those projects. Tundra was all about the creator’s “vision.” Because it was believed that editors as a whole are a terrible bunch of hacks—failed writers who try to prove their worth by pissing on the visions of the creators they work with, just to prove they’re superior storytellers.

Riiiight.

Now, I’m not saying there aren’t editors in the world who like to “mark their territory” just to prove who’s the boss, because there certainly are. Or, conversely, that there aren’t editors who’d rather be chummy with and starstruck by the talent instead of acting as a helping hand, especially when it comes to big-name authors and artists—because God knows I’ve met some; they’re the ones who usually say, “I can’t edit him (or her)! He’s (or She’s) _____!” Or that there aren’t editors who lack vision—sometimes for absolutely baffling reasons. (I’ll give you an example of that sort of madness another time.)

But those are the exceptions, not the rule. A good editor isn’t there to destroy the work or be your suck-up buddy, they’re there to offer advice, to tell you where the writing is weakest (and where it excels), to point out structural issues and offer suggestions, and, when necessary, to tell you when you’re hurting your creation with your terrible writing. And they’ll tell you all of this because they want you to succeed.

Really.

And it’s something that even Kevin Eastman probably came to learn in the post-Tundra years—after all, he’s recently returned to writing and drawing TMNT stories for comic publisher IDW, and has to deal with editors there. And long before that, back in 1999, Kevin and I got along just fine when I was the ibooks, inc. editor who handled Heavy Metal: F.A.K.K.2, the novelization of the Eastman-produced animated feature Heavy Metal 2000—the one major problem with the project being that the book came out a year before the movie, and then the movie was released under its own title, which killed the book’s tie-in sales. Still, Kevin and I got along so well that he had no problem in later approving me as the author for the TMNT novel trilogy that ultimately never came to fruition.

So yes, when an editor knows what they’re doing, they can be your staunchest ally, and your most enthusiastic supporter, when it comes to getting things done right. But they can also be your harshest critic, because they know you can do better. And if you’re willing to listen to their feedback, you will do better.

Which brings us to the editorial tale of a little book called Blood Feud: The Saga of Pandora Zwieback, Book 1

Howard Zimmerman (l.) and me at the 2010 New York Comic Con.

Howard Zimmerman (l.) and me at the 2010 New York Comic Con.

“So where’s the girl in the comic?”

That was the first question my friend and editor Howard Zimmerman (whom longtime sci-fi and comics fans may recognize as the former editor-in-chief of Starlog, Comics Scene, and Future Life magazines) asked me back in 2010 when we sat down to discuss his edits on the manuscript for Blood Feud, the first Pandora Zwieback novel. I didn’t know what he was talking about.

He pointed to the print copy of The Saga of Pandora Zwieback #0—the free introductory comic I’d been handing out to convention-goers in the year leading up to Blood Feud’s publication—on his table. “Well, the girl in this comic is happy and funny and likable, and the girl in this”—he pointed to the manuscript—“isn’t. So where is she?”

“Well, the comic takes place after the novel, so she’s different,” I said—knowing even as I said it how stupid it sounded.

In fact, Howard continued, the book was filled with unlikable people—from Pan to her parents, even to Annie. Karen and Dave hated and sniped at one another throughout the book; Dave was months behind on child support and alimony—but had still found enough cash to pay for a vampire skeleton to ship from England (Howard referred to him as the “biggest dick” he’d ever read about in recent months); Annie was putting the moves on Dave; and Pan was sullen and argumentative and hated damn near everybody. It was an angry book about angry people, and he was pretty sure that’s not what I’d set out to write.

So I did what any author usually does when somebody beats the hell out of their work and questions their skills (I used to edit for a living and I handed out a lot of beatings, so I know): I got my back up. I defended the writing, nodded politely as Howard tried to tell me where stuff needed improving, and then headed home, convinced he just didn’t understand what I’d written.

A couple days later, I reluctantly sat down and started reading his edits:

Pandora is the most realized character, but she has too many airhead moments, which not only keep the story from getting too serious, they also keep readers from taking Pan too seriously. Teenage angst is hormonally driven; fear of being ostracized is enough for teens to commit suicide. Pan should be a “haunted” character. She has had “monster vision” for years. She has been treated as though they are hallucinations and put on medication, so clearly she either thinks she is insane or that she is being totally mistreated. Either state of mind would give the character an edge currently lacking. Or, rather, mostly just seen when she punches out her rival in the mall. That’s a good beginning, but should be just the top of the iceberg.

Dave is a two-dimensional slapstick character who we suddenly have to take seriously toward the end of the book. It’s very easy to see why Pan’s mom divorced him. He comes across as totally incompetent. It’s amazing he can keep his business running and the store open.

The final few chapters seem to be different in intent from the balance of the draft. They are leaner; harder. It’s almost as though THIS is the voice you need for the book, but have only discovered it toward the end of telling the story.

There were a lot more comments along those lines, as well as a plea to cut down the manuscript—the first draft was close to 500 pages—and suddenly I realized he was absolutely right. About everything. Pan wasn’t complete as a character. Dave was an asshole. About the only likable characters in the entire book were the friggin’ vampires. And holy crap, where’d all the anger come from?!

And yet…there was still a story in there among the confrontations. A story about a girl who’d been treated like an oddity most of her life; who was brimming over with pain and wanted it to end; who needed to know how special she really was. If I could get past the anger and the shouting I could find that story.

I started digging, and much to my surprise, it didn’t take as much effort as I’d expected, as I explained to Howard about a week later (click to embiggen, as they say):

Pan_Emails

See, a writer is allowed, even expected, to get defensive about their work—it’s perfectly understandable and part of the game. But a smart writer then puts aside the defensiveness and listens. Unlike what Kevin Eastman believed, back in 1990, or what a lot of authors may still believe—that an editor is just there to pee on the writer’s work and screw with their “grand vision” (which, truthfully, is what a bad editor may do)—the bottom line is (to be blunt about it): your shit ain’t gold. The words aren’t written in stone. Or, as award-winning producer/showrunner Steven Moffat often points out in his scripts for Doctor Who, time can be rewritten. So can your prose.

(For example: An author once responded to my work on his short story by bellowing, “There was more editing in that one story than in my last ten novels!” My response? “Well, what does that say about your last ten novels?” Then his head exploded. 😀 But he listened to my comments and agreed they made sense, and the story got published with most of them taken into consideration.)

When they do get their asses kicked by an editor, writers shouldn’t always fall back on friends and family (or their own ego) for a counterargument—most of the time they’re just enabling your bad writing by telling you how wonderful it is, that others don’t understand your “genius.” Howard might be my friend, but before that he was an editor for over thirty years (not to mention my boss when I started out in book publishing as his assistant editor, in 1994), and an editor who cares about improving the work is worth their weight in ego-stroking well-wishers. The good editors fight you (sometimes) because they want you to tell the best story possible, to help you grow as a writer. And after you’ve cooled off, 9 times out of 10 you’ll agree with them; maybe not 100%, but enough to see where they made a good point about some element that you really do need to change.

In my case, agreeing with Howard’s feedback meant I’d be rewriting half the novel. Still, now that he liked the new direction I’d proposed, I knew I was on the right track for the second draft.

Tomorrow, I’ll tell you about the chapter that, for me, became the linchpin for the entire revised novel—a chapter that didn’t exist in the first draft.

SWC Backlist: Blood Feud: The Saga of Pandora Zwieback, Book 1

blood_feudAs a follow-up to this past weekend’s first BookCon, I thought it would be a good time to introduce first-time visitors to our StarWarp Concepts and Pandora Zwieback sites, and new readers of StarWarp Concepts’ titles, to the SWC backlist (and to remind old ’Warp fans of the wide range of our offerings). So while you’ll find the majority of listings appear on the SWC blog, I figured it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to duplicate the entries relating to Pan and the “Paniverse.”

To kick things off, today we look at our young adult dark-urban-fantasy novel Blood Feud: The Saga of Pandora Zwieback, Book 1, written by Steven A. Roman (that’s me). Here’s the synopsis:

Pandora Zwieback is a 16-year-old Goth girl who’s just discovered that her New York City hometown is the stalking ground for every creature of the night out to raise a little hell (literally!). Problem is, she thinks she’s the only one who can see them, which means she can’t tell her friends or family about the dangers around them—not unless she wants to spend the rest of her life locked up in a psychiatric ward.

But before Pan has a chance to make sense of her increasingly weird life, she finds herself in the middle of a war among rival vampire clans. Elegant Gothic Lolitas from Japan on one side, silk-suited Euro-vamps on the other, leather-clad hunters from Eastern Europe in the middle, and all after the same prize: a mysterious crate recently delivered to the horror-themed museum owned by Pan’s dad. What is its terrifying secret—and will Pan survive long enough to find out?

“Far and away one of the best young adult supernatural fantasy novels released in the last few years.”HorrorNews.net

“A fun and very much recommended read that shouldn’t be overlooked.”Midwest Book Reviews

“A big-style cinematic vampire and monster hunter shoot-’em-up with a very human kid caught in the crossfire… but her relationship with her parents and close friends makes the story gold.”Goodreads

Blood Feud: The Saga of Pandora Zwieback, Book 1 is on sale in print ($14.95 US) and e-book ($2.99) formats at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-a-Million, and the StarWarp Concepts webstore. The e-book is also available from iBooks, Smashwords, Kobo, DriveThru Fiction, Scribd, and Oyster.

Visit the Blood Feud product page for the sales links.

Please support StarWarp Concepts by purchasing one of our books. Thanks!

Pandora Zwieback: Blood Feud On Sale at Oyster Books

blood_feud_largeFollowing the recent deal between e-book distributor Smashwords and online subscription library Scribd, comes exciting news that my young adult, dark-urban-fantasy novel Blood Feud: The Saga of Pandora Zwieback, Book 1 is available at yet another digital subscription library: Oyster Books! To quote their Web site:

Oyster offers unlimited access to over 500,000 books for $9.95 a month, with new titles added all the time.

We created Oyster to evolve the way people read and to create more of the special moments that only books can offer. From anywhere a mobile device can go—a bustling subway car, a quiet coffee shop, or lost at sea with a Bengal tiger—our mission is to build the best reading experience, one that is both communal and personal, anytime, anywhere.

Smashwords has further distribution deals in the works, most recently with German e-book retailer TXTR and with Overdrive, the world’s largest library e-book platform—and Zwieback Nation will use them to expand our world domination of dark-fantasy publishing. 😉

You’ll find Blood Feud: The Saga of Pandora Zwieback, Book 1 here at Oyster. Start your subscription today!

Well, That’s Interesting….

So, today at the news site Comics Alliance I find an interview with Christy Marx, writer of DC Comics’ reboot of their 1980s teen fantasy comic Amethyst, Princess of Gemworld (of which I was a fan, due to Ernie Colon’s incredible artwork). Even better, they ran a five-page preview of Sword of Sorcery #0—the series in which the new Amethyst will star—along with Marx’s interview. Fantastic!

Then I saw the first page.

Yeaahhhhh.

A moody teen who wears dark clothes and dyes her hair, who also possesses magical powers. Huh. Storywise it fits in with other young adult series these days, but it’s the character’s design that annoys me. It looks so familiar I know I’ve seen it before…

Oh, yeah. On this site. On the cover of my books. In the downloadable comic (and the print version I used to hand out at conventions).

Jeezus, DC.

It’s a Global Pan-demic!

Chalk up another positive review of Blood Feud: The Saga of Pandora Zwieback, Book 1, this one courtesy of newly minted Pan-atic Abby Flores and her review blog, Bookshelf Confessions:

Blood Feud is packed with comedy, horror, romance, paranormal urban fantasy, gothic themes and lots of hunting adventure that would surely bury its story on your mind. One of the best books I’ve read in paranormal urban fantasy.”

Since Abby is based in the Philippines, this obviously means that the Power of Zwieback can now be felt clear across the world!  😉

Read the entire review by clicking on the Bookshelf Confessions logo.

Writing: Musical Influences: “Fiend Club”

So, picking up where we left off in the February 27th post, we’ve been discussing influences on the writing of the first Pandora Zwieback novel, Blood Feud. Last time I talked about how the Horrorpops song “MissFit” became Pan’s anthem. Now we get to the introduction of her gothy friends.

There’s a scene in chapter 21 in which Pan and her friends do a little song-and-dance number for videographer Tim Merrick (whose day job is working as an assistant to David Zwieback, owner of the storefront museum Renfield’s House of Horrors and Mystical Antiquities). When I started writing that scene, the first horror-related tune that popped into my head was Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.” A classic 1980s pop hit, with a good beat and lyrics, and Vincent Price rapping—what better song for Pan to launch into?

Yeah, okay, it was too easy a musical choice, and way too mainstream a tune for Goths, but I was trying to find a way to make a transition between a scene in Renfield’s, during which Pan has lovingly bullied her father into retrieving her makeup kit from his car, and the dance number on the museum’s basement steps. As originally written, it went like this:

The door swung shut behind him, and Pan turned to face Tim. He looked highly amused. “What?”

Tim shrugged. “Just couldn’t help noticing you got him trained well.”

“Of course.” Pan flashed a wicked grin. “And now, Timothy,” she intoned in her deepest, most ominous voice, “at last you know the true power of being Daddy’s Little Girl…”

*          *          *

“ ’Cause this is Thrillllerrrrr!” Pan wailed, head thrown back, as she and the crew sang along with Michael Jackson and danced on the steps leading to the museum’s basement floor.

In movie terminology, I saw the transition as a smash cut: an abrupt jump from one scene to the next—in this case, everyday Pan giving her best sinister smile instantly changing into glammed-up Pan singing her heart out as the “camera” pulls back to show her and her friends on the stairs. (If you’ve been following these posts, you already know how I tend to “see” the scenes I write in cinematic angles.)

But then one night I downloaded the latest episode of Rue Morgue Radio (a great online, F-bomb-loaded radio-style show that stopped broadcasting in January 2012 after seven years, but you should definitely check out their archives). One of the first songs that the host, Tomb Dragomir, played was a track from the Misfits’ 1999 album Famous Monsters: “Fiend Club”—and I suddenly realized that Pan & Co. had a much better song to perform:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5TgEU4f_eY

We won’t pretend that this is the end
We’re not losers all of the time
We march and we fall
We’re one and for all
It’s just evil all of the time
All the time

We are the fiend club
We are the fiend club
We are the fiend club
Not you! Not you!

You dress so messed up
Your hair is too long
But I’m changing it all of the time
We march and we fall
We’re one and for all
It’s just evil all of the time
All the time
Evil all the time

We are the fiend club
We are the fiend club
We are the fiend club
Not you! Not you!

Evil all the time

We are the fiend club
We are the fiend club
We are the fiend club
Not you! Not you!

We are the fiend club

Not exactly a song you can choreograph a dance number to—well, not unless it includes a lot of violent head banging—but I thought, what a great anthem that would make for Pan and her friends: united in their weirdness, and proud of it. So, out went the King of Pop and in came a far more appropriate band (who are horror fans themselves).

FYI: The actual Fiend Club is the Misfits’ fan club. You can find it here.

Blood Feud E-Sales: The Post-Mortem

So, how did StarWarp Concepts do with their $1.00 Blood Feud e-book sale over at Smashwords, during the Read an E-Book Week promotion? Head on over to the SWC blog and read the outcome.

Then come back here later this week, as we get back to discussing the inspirations behind the writing of Pan’s first adventure. It’ll be fiend-tastic!

Chatting About a Goth Adventuress

Today at the book-review blog Fiction Fascination you’ll find an interview with me, conducted by the site’s owner, Carly. It’s one more part in my ongoing effort to make fans of dark urban fantasies aware of the exciting world of Goth adventuress Pandora Zwieback, starting with her first novel, Blood Feud. And since Carly is a major fan of Ms. Zwieback’s, how could I say no to a chance to talk about her?  😉

Carly and I cover such topics as my favorite books, my personal quirks, and what some of my writing inspirations are (a topic I’ll be discussing further at the Pandora Zwieback blog in the days to come). And then there’s this:

“At some point I became obsessed with a TV show on the Food Network called Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives, and I’ve been experimenting with recipes. I haven’t killed anyone yet…”

Not expecting a comment like that in an interview about a monster-hunting teen, were you? Hey, it can’t all be about gun-toting vampires and heroic Goth chicks, y’know!  😀

In addition to the interview, we’re giving away a signed copy of Blood Feud (still on sale in print and e-book editions). If you haven’t gotten around to picking up a copy, here’s your chance to get one for free!

Read the interview, and find out more details on the giveaway, by clicking on the Fiction Fascination logo.

A Monstrous Appetite for Zwieback

And so we close out January 2012 with another enthusiastic recommendation of Blood Feud: The Saga of Pandora Zwieback, Book 1, courtesy of reviewer Sheila Shedd and the site Monster Librarian:

“Blood Feud is a roller coaster read; the action never lets up…. Highly recommended for ages 15 and up for complexity of plot and violence.”

Read the entire review by clicking on the logo above. And hey, all you librarians out there, how about adding Blood Feud to your YA sections and introducing your readers to a certain Goth adventuress? You never know—they might really enjoy meeting Pan!